35 Things I’ve Learned In 35 Years

I turned 35 years old this month and unlike any other birthday, this milestone provoked an assortment of reflective thoughts. Thoughts of the last 365 days, the many blessings, the varying trials, and me visualizing the years to come. 

I am half-way through my 30s and unlike when I turned 25, I am in total agreement with the elders who used to say, “it only gets better.” I would add to that by saying, “it only gets better when you do the work.” 

I’ve done a lot of soul searching, made mistakes, healed, been broken, unlearned bad habits, and yet; I’m still figuring out what and who I want to be when I grow up.

I’ve learned that as you grow older you quickly realize this journey called life never gets easier, you realize the challenges just evolve, and somehow, you learn to skillfully navigate them with wisdom and vigilance.

I wish you comfort in the fact that no one has life figured out, and I hope you gain insight from some of the things I’ve learned along the way.

35 Things I’ve Learned In 35 Years:

1. Forgive yourself often. You’ve done the best you could with what you’ve known, and when it’s time to do better, and you’re ready, you will.
2. Take care of your body; you only get one.
3. Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a badass. #boundaries
4. Be of service to others.
5. We all have toxic traits. Yes, you! and me! Be open to understanding your faults and seek ways to do better.
6. Your purpose will make room for you. You’ll find your purpose by doing #4.
7. Anything that has your attention has an influence over your life. Be mindful of what you “consume.” Tv, radio, social media, and especially the company you keep.  They are the potter and you are the clay.
8. You can simultaneously miss someone and not want to recast them in your movie.
9. Find something to laugh at every day, even if it’s yourself.
10. It’s okay to love your family and also not like them. The first time I said this aloud, a breeze of guilt swept over my body. It seemed very oxymoron-ish until I realized it is perfectly okay AND normal. There are 7.6 billion people in the world, and sharing the same blood does not grant people automatic access to the “like” list.
11. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
12. Document your life. The good, the bad, and the in-between. It helps to put things into perspective the older you get. 
13. Invest in yourself. 
14. Be intentional.
15. In order to be successful at anything, you have to first be uncomfortable.
16. Having at least $1,000 in a savings account will make you sleep better at night. This starts with discipline and sacrifice. 
17. Fasting is weight lifting for your flesh. It will help you achieve #16.
18. Life is not too short, death is just one per person. Life is only too short when we fail to use the time were granted wisely. Make everyday count.
19. Once a year go someplace you’ve never been, even if you have to go alone. There are 196 countries and 10,000 cities in the world, don’t get stuck in the one you were born on.
20. The faster your fail, the more you learn what doesn’t work and you can recalibrate your approach.
21. Believe in a higher power.
22. Life is difficult for EVERYONE. Don’t let the highlight reels on social media or the “Everything is good” reply you receive from your strong friend or family fool you. We are all, at every age, still trying to figure life out. 
23. Surround yourself with more people you want to be like. Their ways will become your ways. Their habits will become your habits.
24. Pay for more experiences, buy less stuff.
25. Spend more time with people who make you forget you have a cell phone.
26. Try every day to be a better version of yourself.
27. Going to therapy is the best investment you’ll ever make. We all have wounds and chapters in our lives we don’t want to read aloud. Make sure you read them to yourself or a trusted professional so you can understand the dynamics of your testimony.
28. Have more conversations with people who don’t look like you.
29. Walk to the beat of your own drum. Your drum is loud enough.
30. Elevation will always require separation. If you find yourself struggling with separation see #27.
31. Peace is found in perspective.
32. Do everything with great care, purpose, and intention.
33. Affirm yourself daily. You can start with the words “I am enough.” 
34. “A prepared person is a confident person.”
35. It’s NEVER too late to go after your heart’s desires.

What other lessons would you add to the list? Which one resinates with you most?

Share you comments down below.